Beginning to Own My Story

I’ve never been as open about mental health on this platform as I’d like to be. Sure, I’ve been transparent about my struggles with disordered eating & the like — but I’ve glossed over deeper aspects of mental health that deserve to be talked about.

The past two years were, without a doubt, the darkest & most difficult years of my life. There were days when leaving my room felt daunting. There were months where my friends and family couldn’t recognize who I’d become - aloof, emotionless, cold. Every smile was fleeting. The relationships in my life dissipated before my eyes, and I didn’t even have the energy to try and mend them.

But there were people who supported me through every valley, and cheered me on at every peak. There were people who showed me love and kindness and patience when I needed it most, and I can never thank them enough. My family, my best friends, parents of friends, coaches, teammates, relatives. I love you all & wouldn’t be where I am today without you. I am eternally grateful for the love and support that these people showed me, which is why I’m so passionate about creating a community through this platform.

I remind people who see my life from afar that I’ve achieved this wisdom through experience and through challenges and through a shit ton of trial and error. Only in breaking my own heart did I learn love.

Writing this today, I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. I am so proud of myself, I cannot contain my gratitude for me and my life and the people I’ve surrounded myself with.

I am so proud to know that the person I was one year ago wouldn’t recognize the person I am now. I have loved myself at every stage of my life, but the relationship I have with myself now - with the girl who endured all of the struggles and learned love, peace, patience, and gratitude is truly the greatest love I will ever have.

I am happy to just BE.
And that is all I can ever ask for & hope for for all of you. It gets better.
If you’re in the thick of it right now, please know that my heart is with you and my hand is here to hold. I love you people dearly.